If you found this site by accident...

If you found this site by accident, why not visit several other, more recent sites that I write? www.estherspetition.wordpress.com in particular... links to several other sites can be found there too. Have a blessed day. Bette Cox

A home for images I like

"Space, the final frontier." I love that line from Star Trek. But I especially love the images from space I get from APOD (NASA's Astronomical Picture of the Day). Here are a few of my favorites, in no particular order.

The Butterfly Nebula

The Grand Spiral Galaxy

The Waterfall Nebula

Sun face; prominent sun spots

Sun showing coronal holes

Strong solar flare January 2012

Transitioning to new location for Bette's Journal

For several technical reasons, I am going to move this blog across the blogosphere -- a few of my older posts will be copied over, and all new ones will be posted there from today.

Visit me there? www.bettecox.wordpress.com.

And visit my other blogs, too, listed on that site. I hope you will.

Experiment drawing to a close

The experiment of republic-style government in America is being closed down, I think. We have had over 200 years of it now. We should have had it right by now, but in these last few years we seem to have made a mess of it. I think we are seeing it end before our very eyes.

The first government was established in the Garden when, after the fall, God put Adam in charge of the family unit. He was assigned to be the decision-maker. By the time of Moses, a multi-layered organizational structure was needed to help handle those decisions.

Then came the day that Israel demanded a different form of government and God let them have it. They wanted a king, not a priest. Of course, that didn't work out too well...

Over the thousands of years of human history many forms of governing have been tried: dictatorships, monarchies, republics and everything in between. In some eras and some parts of the world, years of anarchy separated these governmental forms.

Certain types seem to outlast others, their longevity depending on many factors. The culture. The societal structure. Character, personality and intelligence, education, wisdom, determination and zeal of leaders. Number of advisors. Number of subjects. Wealth or lack of natural and human resources.

Some forms don't last. Government by committee doesn't last. Benevolent dictatorship or monarchy last longer. But few nation-wide governmental experiments last more than a couple of hundred years, and ours may have run its course. America doesn't resemble the country I grew up in.

What's next? Socialism? That's been tried multiple times elsewhere and failed each time. Humans who can never be perfect and don't really love their fellow man claim it's just never been done right. But like every other imperfect human they won't be able to keep their fingers out of the public till. That try will fail too.

We'll see. Whoever it is that chooses, and I believe somebody is out there doing the choosing, is watching this American experiment wind down. I'm interested to see what develops over the next decade.

Christmas

I didn't put up any Christmas decorations this year, only scotch taped the cards I received to the inside of my front door as usual. There weren't as many cards this year as last, and a number of those were political... photos of the candidate with his family mostly. A couple of family cards were photos also, which I sort of like since I don't see these people very often. Only a small few were even Christ-centered this year.

I didn't send any cards, didn't send a newsletter, didn't send an email blast. Somehow it didn't seem like a time for celebrating. I sent a check to my grandson Erik for his new baby, sent subscriptions to the Smithsonian magazine to my children and brother, but other than that - no presents, either. I did receive a couple of small gifts from my daughter Shelby, and bought myself some books. Thanksgiving and Christmas lunches were spent with Shelby and her father, who is in poor health. Shelby and I went to a couple of movies.

A strange sort of atmosphere seems to have enveloped my mind over the last few months, almost like waiting for the other shoe to fall. My spirit seems to be listening for a sound, a signal. I read a lot of international news, reading items from Jerusalem and Tehran and noting articles never reported by the American press.

Much of 2009 has been an odd season for me and 2010 may be a continuation of that, who knows. For now I'm glad the holidays are over, and despite not really celebrating the modern-day Christmas I do celebrate the fact and presence of Jesus in my life.

I think I will transition this blog from remembrances of Tim into more of a "journey" journal. We'll see...

No More Night

Happy heavenly birthday, honey!

One more Tanner reunion

I drove down to Hemingway the first Sunday in October to attend the Tanner Reunion one more time. Not for the last time, I hope, but there were only about 25 people there. Although I had taken my camera, I decided not to take any photos, choosing to spend my time talking with people instead. I did take the roll, although I didn't take any minutes.

Mae talked about the family heritage of faith, especially the faith of her parents, similar to the devotion she gave at last year's reunion. Several other people added stories about their own families and faith.

Sam and Bryan were there, Olivia was not. Neither were Dale and Jonathan. Neither were a host of other Tanner relatives of Tim's - but the ones who did come seemed to enjoy being there and the food was good as usual. Mae and Paul were there, despite the fact that their health is not great and driving so far is a strain on them these days. They had driven down a day or two earlier and stayed at the farm.

The place was okay, not great but okay. It was held at the VFW building just outside of town, like last year. There's no place for kids to play, very little yard and what there is has mostly weeds, no grass much. It's also very close to the highway and therefore not really safe for children.

But it was available and has enough space, tables, chairs, and kitchen. The people in attendance discussed several options: suspending any further reunions, moving the place, or moving the date. Those present agreed to leave things as is for another year, same place, same day and date. I thought attendance might be better on a Saturday, but I didn't vote one way or the other.

Anyway, it was good to see people and talk for an hour or two, particularly Sam and Bryan. We sat together for lunch and talked a few minutes about Angie - they don't see her very often at all, even though she is living in the beach house. I hope that situation will improve somehow and she'll become closer to them again one day. It's been a year since I've spoken to her (her choice, not mine) and I really miss her.

I'm glad I went and I'm glad they decided not to stop with the reunions. Betty and Harold plan to have the usual family get together the Saturday after Thanksgiving and it will be down at the farm unless Bryan and Sam decide to host it at McClellanville, which they mentioned doing. I've never been to their house there - it was still under construction when T.C. and Ora Lee died, and that's where they go now for family dinners, etc. I'd like to see it, although that's a pretty long way for me to drive, there and back, for one meal. We'll see.

Suspended

Adjust. Adapt. Evolve. Change. Flex. How many ways can you say move on? I'm thinking about Tim just as much these days as ever, but when I think about him it's with more calm, more peace, more assurance, more confidence, and even more joy. I think it's time to suspend entries in this blog, at least for now.

I do a lot of praying all during the day but those prayers are usually quick, targeted, specific requests. At night after I go to bed, the praying I do is more conversational, two-way, listening much more than talking. Sometimes it's short, sometimes it's lengthy. That all depends on how sleepy I am.

In the last months those bed-time conversations tend to be about current events and end-time prophecies, plus what heaven is like. Heaven's environment, people, hierarchies, activities, technology, size, and specific geographic and cultural differences between heaven and earth.

I hate falling asleep right in the middle of something fascinating - like the images I got the other night of one block in the city, specifically one skyscraper with no outside walls, all the support in the center core and only "heavy air" panels on the outsides (I don't know what else to call them) preventing things from falling out. The designers and architects and builders and decorators of it all work in that building, and they like it.

I have written some of these things down for my own benefit but not in a blog. I may create a blog for it, though. I prayed and asked the Lord about doing that, whether it was a good idea, advisable or not. He isn't saying no. He's sort of leaving it up to me.

If I actually create a blog for these thoughts, I will put a link to it here.

----------------------------

Okay, I started one. Here's where it is... http://www.speakingofheaven.wordpress.com

Another milestone

This is what Tim's office looked like a couple of years ago, Tim and me, his desk and chair, Smokey jumping off his desk, the desk covered with things Tim used every day including his yellow talking book machine plus green boxes full of tapes.

Hidden behind Smokey on top of the desk are two telephones and several tape recorders containing Tim's "Roladex" of phone numbers and many notes about people and places and things to do.

You can see the pictures on the wall, a filing cabinet and Tim's much-used walker - and there but unseen in this shot is also a comfortable arm chair to the side of the desk. All in all, this room was a welcoming environment for visitors to sit and talk.

It doesn't look much like this any more. Smokey died a year after Tim did and I eventually donated the desk and chair to my son-in-law's brother. A small antique secretary that once belonged to my mother now occupies that spot. There's no desk chair or armchair, just photos of Tim's grandchildren on top of the little desk, plus several pot plants.

The photos are still on the wall, although I may have moved a couple of them around. The filing cabinet is still there too, and along another wall is the large blond oak entertainment center with Tim's reel-to-reel, tape deck, 8-track tape player, and multitude of tapes, cords and paraphernalia inside and on top of it.

No one in the family was interested in that large cabinet, although it was especially made for Tim long before we met and is still in excellent condition. I guess it's just a little too big for most living rooms or dens these days.

June 15th was the one year anniversary of Ora Lee's death, the 2-1/2 year anniversary of Tim's death. Tim's family had a reunion down at the farm last month, on a day when I had to be in Columbia for a Republican Party event. Angie was there, but without the kids - she and Vernie are separated and he didn't want her to take the children to the farm that day for some reason.

I was so sorry about the conflict in the date, I really would have loved to see everyone. I haven't seen most of them since Ora Lee's funeral and only occasionally talk to Betty Gosnell or Bryan on the phone. I miss them.

And I miss Ora Lee. I still miss Tim very much too, but now when I think about the two of them, it's with images of them being busy and productive where they are, spending time with each other and Theron and T.C. and Ninie and so many others.

In a way, getting past June 15th is like passing another milestone. As if I can draw a deep, mostly pain-free breath for the first time in 2-1/2 years. That's a good thing.

Another dimension, aka heaven

Nearly a year has gone by since Tim's nephew T.C. Cox was killed in a car wreck (June 7), and then his grandmother, Tim's mom Ora Lee Cox died a week later (June 15). I think about both of them frequently, not quite as often as I think about Tim, and when I do it's with curiosity, not grief. How has this year been for the both of them? What have they learned? Who have they seen, talked to, visited with, worked with? What do they look like? I think I know that one - they look like mature adults, strong and healthy. Not too young, not too old. Here's some of what I think, from impressions I receive whenever I meditate in prayer about them and their new habitat. T.C. is good with younger children, he always was and still is. He can share his own experiences, helping them get to know Jesus, Father God and Holy Spirit better. He can help mentor the younger newcomers and help them adjust to being without parents - although there are a multitude of "foster" parents available, relatives sometimes, who can fill that role. He can also assist them in learning to use their new capabilities, help with studying and learning the many things they need to know. He can introduce them to other people they need to develop a relationship with. He can show them around, taking them on tours of the many fascinating facilities. He can join them in having fun, too, worshiping and praising and playing and enjoying their new life to the fullest. When I think of T.C., I always think of him smiling and laughing and hugging. Ora Lee has always been a people person and after spending great quantities of time with her mom and dad, sister and brothers, I have a feeling she looked up everyone she knew who was already there, catching up on news with her friends from church and elsewhere, neighbors, cousins, aunts and uncles. I can see her starting a regular gathering - a sharing group - in someone's home. Maybe in her own home, whether that is with Theron or Tim or both of them. Prayer would be her focus, I think. Tim has been there longer, and his activities have been on my mind for all these months. I see him spending time with his friends, Mike, Steve, Allyn, Ann Poston and Hope Love, as well as a number of other men and women who had been through tough times of sickness or disease like he did. I also see him spending time working in a lab of some sort, using new technologies, new information and education and training for his new assignments. Other times I see him exploring mountains and valleys and plains, swimming in lakes and rivers, flying in little one-man aircraft. Sometimes I see him studying in archives and libraries, or sitting in classes indoors and outdoors and asking many questions. I see him wanting to learn and share what he's learned with others. And I see him playing several brass instruments as well as singing with a group of men, worshiping God in small chapels and large auditoriums and wide-open valleys. Sometimes it's hard for me to be satisfied here on earth, I feel like they are accomplishing so much in their dimension and I'm accomplishing so little in mine. As a side note - I don't see heaven as being far away, "up" or any specific direction, actually. I see it as being other. Another. Another dimension, maybe occupying the same space that the planet earth occupies, or space right next to it, for all we know. If we could see how much space there was between the atoms and molecules in a chair, we'd never sit on one. There is more empty space than there is solid matter. So there's plenty of room for more than one existence, more than one real reality to occupy time and space together. It's not really important, but it is an interesting concept. A lot of people are sad when someone they love "dies," as if once the loved one leaves this planet, there is no chance of them ever being happy or fulfilled or excited ever again. What a limited vision! The most true happy, fulfilled, excited life comes when we're settled in our new habitat, learning and working in our new assignment after we leave this planet. So - Happy anniversary, T.C. and Ora Lee. Hope you have a party! I know you're certainly not sad, and we'll try not to be selfishly sad ourselves.